Relationships play a crucial role in our lives, providing us with connections, companionship, and opportunities to experience love and meaningful bonds.
So how can relationships leave us feeling annoyed, frustrated, lonely, and heartbroken? We tend to blame the other person for what they say or don't say, do or don't do. But this puts us in a victim role and we feel powerless to change our situation. We're not in control of what the other person thinks or does, and we're at the mercy of their behavior. We end up relying on them for our emotional wellbeing and how's that working out for us?
Do you find yourself resorting to mind games or throwing tantrums to get your way? Do you dish out ultimatums or give the silent treatment? And if the other person finally complies, is it really love, or just compliance and control, which creates resentment on both sides over time.
How can we operate within the relationship without having any expectations of the other person? Aren't we meant to share equally in running a household or raising the kids and generally contributing to make everything work? There's nothing wrong in planning out your roles together to get some mutual consent around all the tasks and responsibilities or in making a request of the other person, but when we lock it in as a job and they fail to carry out their job description, we go and tell ourselves that they don't care about us, they only think of themselves, they don't value me or they think they're more important than the rest of us, they're just lazy and I have to do everything and we keep building upon these statements until we have a story that has us carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Instead of creating negative stories and blaming others for our emotions, it's important to recognize that our thoughts are responsible for how we feel. By consciously and deliberately choosing the thoughts you want to have about someone and what you want to make those thoughts mean, you hold all the power in your relationships. This is great news! It means you are in control and can make your relationships as good as you want them to be.
The truth is, the reality we experience is an illusion of our own creation. We can't control others, but we can control our thoughts and feelings about our relationships. Accepting people for who they are, the good and the bad, will bring gratitude and appreciation, and begin to change the dynamics of the relationship. The law of opposites teaches us that we can't have one without the other, so let go of the need for control and find peace in understanding. Say goodbye to resentment and hello to a different kind of relationship.